I imagine myself in a new car, silver, preferably in the SUV version (I’m a woman, the brand is secondary – it’s important that the color matches the gray coat, though the black would look better in a silver car). I see myself putting my sun glasses on and while doing this I brush my manicured fingers with perfectly stylized nails through my shimmering hair that is shiny from new hair dye. When I get out of the car and walk in the parking lot, my long coat makes a very elegant cloak worn over a new emerald golf that makes my neck look longer and it contours the bottom line of my face. I have leather gloves attached to a large black office bag. There is nothing to find fault with: I look like a million dollars and in this vision I have a million dollar bank account!
Although the account volume and the new car are an absolute fantasy, the rest is a real image of myself, which I design in my head every evening with hope and even the intention that the next day I will stylize myself like that before going to work. And then I go to sleep. In the morning reality seems to be a little different and less sophisticated. After I get the kid’s outfits ready, prepare breakfast for them, wake them up, make the beds and watch their morning toilet, I have neither time nor needs for creating my own image … I put on what is comfortable and warm. And then I put on the old coat, grab the frayed handbag and get into my old dirty Renault Megane (I won’t clean it myself, and finding 15 minutes to get to the car wash is the entire logistics operation!), I try not to get stained by opening car door, I’m setting off and at the same time I’m coming back to reality: I am a 35-year-old mummy living in the village and still don’t have the time and resources to look like a younger version of Claudia Schiffer!
I still hide the scratched nail-polish in my boots, and my undone hand manicure in woolen gloves, and the most tasteful elegance I can afford are high-heeled shoes – when I’m taller, I feel a bit closer to the stars!
My graduate students reminded me today about the Saturday prom – they saved me from embarrassment in case I forgot about their prom and didn’t come, and then burn of shame for wasting their money they had to pay for my participation! I’m also glad that they reminded me that it’s time to pull myself together, dye my gray roots, paint nails and buy some high heels! I will “dress up” again as a dandy girl, I will pretend to be a younger, more confident, complex, richer version of me. I think I need it to keep my balance – every day I am an ordinary village woman who stubbornly tries to play all her roles: a mothers, wife, a teacher, a blogger, a sportswoman, a cook, a friend, and yet a perfect housewife! I often run with a floorcloth all over the house wearing a “potato bag”, which is the costume that suits me, a country girl, best.
I think I’ve just realized why I wanted to start this blog – to be able to stylize myself from time to time like a businesswoman and transfer my visions into camera lens. In some photos we (me and Ewka) really look like LADIES😂
So another boring day of my life has begun. Again, I promised myself that I would get up earlier, drink warm coffee and calmly pick up the messages, and reply to emails. These were the plans I made yesterday after a long bath, dressed in my pajamas (which consists of wide trousers and sleeveless shirts, but makes me feel comfortable). That’s how I look the most often in the evening. This is one of my so-called “home outfit”, or the clothes of „a mother sitting at home”. The second outfit is an old tracksuit or leggings, sweatshirt, and messy hair. They are usually unwashed, because I always plan to get up early and wash them in the morning. It’s long after 9. My plans have been ruined by „a night war” with Weronika (my 1-year-old daughter). I woke up after 6 and went to sleep again!!! When I woke up later the only new thing I saw was the snow outside the window. Besides this, nothing new. I got up upstairs, did Weronika’s morning toilet, dressed the „mother sitting at home” outfit, opened the windows, kicked the night dirty pampers down, made myself a cup of coffee and breakfast and waited as the day rolled. There’s a chance I will drink my coffee calmly if Weronika doesn’t come up with something I don’t expect. The only thing that I did for myself as a woman was to brush my teeth and do a quick basic eye make-up. I still have a hairstyle that is characteristic of the “mother sitting at home”.
As you can see I’m far from the image of an ideal mother who always looks perfect. Sometimes I think that I pose for a well-groomed lady in the pictures, and in fact I could envy the style of “other mothers sitting at home”! And although I know that we have a beautiful look in full make-up, I’m putting on the content of my beauty bag only for special occasions. That’s when I put on a gown, and even if I give it up, I put on my high-heeled shoes. I’m crazy about shoes. And the hills, as you know, add femininity. So I leave my comfortable shoes at home for the time being, and I put on heels when I go out (also when I go out with children). This makes me look a bit closer to the image of me that I’ve always wanted to present!